This is a feature post for Day 5 of our Winter Blogging Challenge dubbed #WinterABC. The post was written by Zimbabwean Wendy Nyakudzi on her blog Ruewy
Afrobloggers I salute you.
Day 5 seemed simple until I started typing. This challenge is really getting to my insides. It got me back to the drawing board and try find myself. Where am I? where do I want to be? and what steps am I taking or should take to get there?
I kid you not I am literally in tears as I am typing this. I was dreading to write this because I just felt like my dream business is one of those that will forever be a dream. See I look at myself and think “I am Wendy, I am smart, I have made it so far but this dream of mine is just but too big for me, let me become an Insurance expect, a lawyer, a writter “. I can start my own law firm at some point.
See I can do these, but this business now hmmm
I am in tears because I know that I have labeled myself a failure before I even begun. I am crying because I have fought the feeling of beeing a failure for a lot of things in my life and I am here having achieved most of those things. I just gushed into tears again now as I remember a quote from Michelle Obama’s “Becoming”, and how it resonates to what i’m feeling now.
Failure is a feeling long before it becomes an actual result. It’s vulnerability that breeds with self-doubt and then is escalated, often deliberately, by fear.Becoming, Michelle Obama
I understand that some businesses/dreams are more long term than others but that is not a license to stop dreaming. Wow, I did not know I have so much tears in me.
So what you have read so far has been typed and erased 3 times now.
I was going to write about some other business so that I didn’t have to face the reality that I am not investing anything towards my biggest dream business. I am not researching like I used to, I threw away the vision board I once had behind my bedroom door. I just dismissed everything and decided to try and achieve my more “attainable dreams” according to me.
Let me stop crying and tell you all about my dream business.
I dream of owning a conference/wedding venue. Like one that caters for any event. I want the place to have chapels, large halls, conference rooms, dining rooms, different restaurants on site, hotel rooms for overnight visitors. I want the place to have golf courses, tennis courts, cricket fields, indoor and outdoor swimming pools. I want a lot of things there, I just want it to be a place that caters for all your events needs. I want it to be the kind of venue you would get for the annual 3 day Afrobloggers conference, with delegates from all over the world.
I am in love with the idea of bringing people together, thus the dream.
Allow me to stop here.